Demonomania
by forsaken2003
Summary: Xander has seen too much. Too many demons, too many deaths. His brain couldn't take it anymore. Can Spike save him?


Title: Demonomania  
Author: Forsaken2003  
Pairing: S/X  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: I own none, all belong to Joss Whedon  
Comments: Always welcomed!  
Summary: Xander has seen too much. Too many demons, too many deaths. His brain couldn't take it anymore. Can Spike save him?  
Warnings/Spoilers: Season 7. No Potentials.  
Beta'd by: Unbeta'd

Prompt #408 from tamingthemuse- Demonomania

Note: From now on most of my tamingthemuse stories will be named as the challenge.

Note 2: This was a toughie. I apologize now.

For six years Xander had taken everything thrown at him. Demons and death. Xander was sure that he could handle anything. That was until Willow went to the dark side. Luckily Xander was able to bring her back but something happened that day. Xander wasn't Xander anymore. Xander stared at himself in the mirror. He stared into his red eyes. What had Willow done to him? He shook it off. He was supposed to meet everyone at the Summers house.

When Xander got to the Summers house the girls and Spike were already armed for patrol. Willow smiled at Xander before handing him a cross.

In seconds Xander was yelling and screaming in pain. He dropped the cross holding his hand to his chest. "You did that on purpose! Why did you do that?" Xander moaned. His hand was smoking.

Everyone just stared at Xander, confused at what just happened. "Xander, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? What the hell do you think is wrong with me?" Xander screamed at her. "I'm possessed. Again! And it's Willow's fucking fault. She did something." He took a menacing step forward.

Spike got in between them. "Calm down, Harris. Nothing is wrong with you."

"Fuck you, you bastard!" Xander spat out.

The girls all backed away. Something was clearly wrong with Xander. He never talked like this. "What's wrong with him?" Dawn asked.

"Nothing is wrong with him. He's the same Xander," Spike said. He moved towards Xander slowly trying not to upset him. It didn't work because Xander lashed out smacking Spike in the face. It startled everyone except Xander.

"Stay away from me you filthy vampire! You think you're scary? You are nothing compared to me!" Xander yelled.

"Xander, there is nothing wrong with you!" Spike tried again. "You have to calm down.

Xander ignored Spike. He began to speak Latin.

"What is he saying?" Buffy asked. She was honestly scared. They had just gotten Willow back. They couldn't lose Xander.

"Nothing, he's speaking gibberish," Spike replied.

Dawn hid behind Buffy. "That doesn't make any sense." She turned to Willow. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing, I swear!" Willow cried.

"Would you all listen to me," Spike snapped. "He isn't possessed. I'd sense it. He is still Xander."

"How can you say that, Spike? Look at him," Buffy said as Xander continued to speak gibberish.

Spike didn't know how to say this. None of them had dealt with this before. It was going to be a big blow. "It's called demonomania. He believes he is possessed by the devil." The girls stared at him confused. "Think of it as PTSD. So much has happened he couldn't take anymore. He'd cracked from the pressure of everything. I'm guessing what happened to Red was the straw that broke the camel's back."

Willow's face was wet with tears. Xander was right it was her fault. "Oh, Xander, I'm so sorry."

"Xander is gone," Xander said. "He was too weak to fight me."

"Xander, you are not weak," Spike said. "Hell you are stronger than all of us!"

"Please, vampire, you know better than anyone how pathetic the human was," Xander said. "You told him enough times, didn't you?"

Guilt attacked Spike. "I-I never meant it. I just wanted to hurt him."

"Well, you were very successful," Xander replied with a smile. "Poor, Xander, taking all that crap from you. Did you know he liked you?"

Spike and the girls looked at one another hoping someone would know what Xander was talking about. None of them did.

Xander laughed. "It was obvious. Why else would he have let you stay with him when the watcher wanted you out of his house? He gave up having sex with demon girl so he could have you close to him. You were all too stupid to see it."

Spike took a small step towards Xander. Just a small one so he wasn't too close to him. "I was stupid for not seeing it. But that was only because I didn't think he'd have the same feelings I did."

"You liked Xander?" Xander snorted in disgust. "Xander was nothing."

"That's not true. Xander _is_ amazing. Out of all of us he was the one to always do what needed to be done. The things the rest of us couldn't do because it hurt too damn much. He'd get shit for it but we all know what he did was what was right," Spike answered. "And that makes him bloody special." Spikes eyes narrowed. "Now let me talk to Xander."

Xander blinked once. "Hey, guys."

"Xander," Willow said with a strained voice. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen."

"It's fine, Wills," Xander said with a smile. "This is better for everyone."

This time Spike grabbed Xander by the shoulders and shook him. The chip fired but he ignored it. "Like hell it is! You are stronger than this. Xander Harris does not break. That's not the person I feel in love with."

Everyone gasped. Buffy had to stop herself from interrogating Spike about everything they'd been through.

"You don't love me," Xander said quietly.

"The hell I don't," Spike said. He placed his cool hand on Xander's hot cheek. "Do you really think I couldn't have ran away the day the watcher made you take me in? That I had to go? With the blood you all fed me I could have lasted until I figured out something else. But I didn't and that was because of you." He leaned in and pressed his lips against Xander. Spike pulled away and looked Xander in the eye. "Now stop being a sodding git. I know you are stronger than this."

Xander ducked his head. "It's so hard. So much as happened."

"And we'll be here to help. Have you learned nothing from the last year? Trying to do everything by yourself when you have people who care about you and can help only ends in disaster.

"He's right, Xan," Dawn said quietly. "We need to be able to rely on one another or what's the point of friends and family?"

Xander looked at his friends. "I can't say I'm better after one talk."

"And no one expects you to be," Willow answered. "All we can do is live one day at a time and hope it gets better."

"I don't think Xander should be patrolling tonight," Buffy decided. "Why doesn't Spike take him home and the rest of us will patrol. We can make it a girls night out."

"You girls do that," Spike said as he took a hold of Xander's hand. "I'll make sure Xander gets home safe."

Once they were away from the girls Xander stopped Spike. "Say it again."

Spike was going to ask what but he put the pieces together. "I love you. Ya, git," he said fondly.

"I-I love you too," Xander said with a faint blush.

"You're going to be okay," Spike promised. "I won't let anything happen to you."

The imaginary demons in Xander's head quieted down.

The End


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